Kids Say the Darndest Things!

When I was a kid, there was a show called "Art Linkletter's House Party."  The show ended with him interviewing kids and led him to eventually write a book called, "Kids Say the Darndest Things."  This part of his show was a hit because kids do pop out with some of the funniest things ever.
My mama was a kindergarten teacher and she certainly heard it all!  One child, in a fellow teacher's class drew a picture of someone driving a car with 2 figures in the back seat.  When the teacher asked her if that was her family, she replied, "No, teacher!  That is God driving Adam and Eve out of the garden of Eden!"  She later submitted that to Reader's Digest and it was published. 
When I was a pre-teen, mama started a kindergarten in Springfield, MO, and one day as the bus driver was dropping the kids off, my mom noticed her laughing her head off.  She asked what was so funny, and had to laugh, herself, at the answer.  In those days, teens loved to TP people's houses.  This generally wasn't a sign of unpopularity...just kids out having fun on their friends or teachers.  As the bus drove by, one child looked at one yard with really high trees that had been papered quite thouroughly.  He wasn't the brightest little fellow, and as he looked at all the TP he said, "Gee...I wonder who got up there and pottied?"  I have never seen a TP'd house without thinking of that sweet, slow little boy's comment!
Our own grandchildren have given us some laughs, too!  One time, Melynda had flown down to North Carolina with her 2 little ones.  Meaghan was a very precocious 3 year old, and we were riding in the car with my mom-in-love on our way to where the Cabbage Patch babies are "birthed".  Meaghan was on one this particular day and constantly repeated the Humpty Dumpty poem from start to finish.  After awhile, we were all slightly crazy from hearing it, so I tried to switch her to a song she had been constantly singing the day before.  A few words into the song Meaghan says, " Mary Poppins!  Listen!  Do you hear that?"  I stopped to listen, and with an impish little grin she said, "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall..."
Another time on that same trip, Lyndee and the kids were in a car with us as we cut across podunk holler trying to get to the Autoroute.  Meaghan was recently potty trained, and as we were going across that backwoods stretch, she informed us she needed to go potty.  Sadly, there was no place to stop!  We pulled into the first service station we saw when we finally got to the Autoroute.  Meg had fallen asleep, and when we woke her up, she realized she was wet!  She growled, "Hey!  What's the big idea!"  We took her into the bathroom and she was crying all the way.  As we were getting her wet clothes off, she started wailing at the top of her lungs, "NOOOOOO!  Don't take my shoes off!  Please don't take my shoes off!"  We finally got her changed and in her jammies and as we were coming out out of the bathroom, a trucker was laughing himself silly.  He looked at us and snorted out, "Whatever you do, please don't take her shoes off!"  Lyndee and I just assumed she must have been dreaming about her shoes or something.  She was so dramatic about it, though, that we were fighting grins ourselves!
Our next oldest grand-daughter, Jordan, was one of those giggly toddlers you love to make laugh.  We didn't meet her until she was 2 because she was born while we were in France.  But, as can be expected, we fell in love with her, just as we had with Meg.  Jordan fell in love with her gramma, too, and followed me or sat in my lap constantly.  The night before we were to leave, Shan had put her to bed and started down the hall to iron his Army uniform.  I had gone to bed early because I had slîpped and fallen on their terrazo bathroom floor, and was pretty sore and banged up.  Don was sitting there reading beside me.  All of a sudden, this perky tot is standing in the doorway, a 100 watt grin on her little face.  She says, "Gramma!  I'm here!"  We heard Shan come tromping down the hall.  He picked Jordan up, put her back in bed and started back down the hall.  Two seconds later..."Gramma!  I'm here!"  Again, steps came thundering back down the hall.  This went on several times and finally Don and I were about to roll off the bed laughing.  We had the covers over our heads so she wouldn't see us and think it was okay.  Shan put her to bed again and glared at us!  "Glad you think it is so funny!" he commented!  This just made us laugh harder, and I choked out, "Retribution!"  He glared some more, and finally, when we quit laughing enough to talk, we told him how, when he was a tot...barely past one...he would do the same thing!  His dad would tuck him in and before he got back to the living room, Shan would be right on his heels, grinning for all he was worth!  Ah!  Payback is sometimes...great!  Haha!
Ya'll have a great day!