Best Hamburgers Ever!

I told you about the first adventure with champagne, so thought I should give you the funniest!  It was our son's 5th birthday, and we were celebrating it with a barbecue.  There was a new couple on the field whose son shared the same birthday, and they wanted to come and celebrate the boys birthdays together.  We had another young couple working with us that were like family to us, and they were there as well.

Now remember, I told you we were totally ignorant about alcholic drinks, so after I nearly broke my thumb when the cork came out, I figured it out that that cork was not going back in that small bottle opening!  So, I stored the rest of that champagne in a clean glass jar.
When I bbq'ed, I would pour some in a bowl and sprinkle it on the coals and brush it on the meat.

This particular day, our friend, Donna, was standing outside in the driveway with me helping me cook.    Donna, Dale, Don and myself had had some laughs becuase the new missionaries were New Englanders.  They had very broad New England brogues...you know...they pahked thehre cah!  All the rest of us were deep south Southerners!  Get the picture?  Anyway, their brogue was cute to us and fun to listen to, most of the time.

While I was industriously brushing on the champagne, out pops the new missionary wife.  She was kind of "blond"!  She sees me brushing the burgers and she squeals out, in her best New England accent, "Wahter!  Yohr puttin' wahter on yohr heamburgers?  I neavah sawr anyone put wahter on thehre heamburgers befohr!"

Dale was in the kitchen at the open window.  He had just taken a big swallow of water when she said that!  He choked on the water so bad that Donna went tearing in to help him.  Don had just walked out in time to hear the question.  He looked at me, I looked at him.  We didn't really know these missionaries...we didn't have a clue if they would be upset over the champagne marinade!  I read in Don's eyes the same thing that was going through my mind!  So we thought it wiser to just not say anything.

Dale was finally over his choking spell, the burgers were done, and we sat down to eat.  As soon as the blessing was over, the wife takes a big bite of her burger.  She swallows, turns to her hubby and says, "That's the best heamburger I evahr ate!  And she made it with wahter!"  Thankfully, none of us 4 had water, tea or or coke in our mouths at that moment, though Dale was on the verge of it.  His glass went down on the table, hard and fast!  I always wondered if the new couple wondered why all 4 of us scattered rapidly to take care of the kids! 
So, that's the story!  And if you want the best burger ever, don't forget the...water!

PS.  Actually, I use an herb mixture that I pour on the coals and as they burn, the smoke is seasoned, and that is the real secret!